Lately I've been busy enough to keep me from having to think too deeply about anything.
I'm working at the cafe, but only during the weekends.
My parents came over for dinner the other night and we had a delicious salmon meal with homemade apple pie for dessert.
I'm trying to start painting again. Color theory eludes me sometimes, but it's fun just to get messy again.
I started my art ed classes, and I realized the other day that I really do want to do this. I was hesitant for a while, because I felt like it was just something to fall back on for money, but when I was with the group of kids the other day, I felt this odd, euphoric feeling when I knew they "got it", that I think this is what I'm supposed to do. At least for now.
I still want to leave and spend some time elsewhere. The airport has a strong attraction for me right now.
I'm starting to cook again. Eating out all the time isn't so healthy.
I got sick last week. On Tuesday I just slept all day. I feel better physically, but I'm a little mentally exhausted.
It's fall! I need more scarves and gloves. And things with long sleeves. And pockets. And a new, warm coat.
I'm going to a metal concert on Tuesday. First ever.
And there's probably more, but that's just the mostly shallow stuff.

Summer reviews (note, not all are new this summer):

Books:
I Robot: Nothing like the movie. The only similarity is the fact that robots exist in both. It is a sci-fi that studies robot psychology in specific scenarios. Pretty fascinating, really. It's an interesting foray into a technology-controlled future. (In a few of his other essays, he studies how this could affect our economy, food production and basic quality-of-life).
East of Eden: Character development like no other. Long, but worthwhile. I cried when it ended. The 19th century American West seemed dull before I read this book.

Movies:
Bruno: The funniest and least appropriate film I think I've ever seen. It's so entertaining how homophobic America is. Also, Sacha Baron Cohen wins my award for the best in-character caricatured actor. Note: not for the faint of heart, or those with any strong stance toward anything.
Terminator 3: Good action film, followed the plotline pretty well, but not quite so endearing as the others. Christian Bale is one of my favorite actors, and plays a fairly convincing role. Overall, a visually-appealing film, but the content isn't as strong. Oh, but there is naked CGI Arnold. So there's that.
UP: cute, cute, cute. CUTE. Old men, boy scouts and balloons. On second thought, all those things together could create either an adorable, family-friendly adventure film... or some really twisted stuff, depending on how it's presented. Eh-hem.

People try oh-so-hard to make the world what they think it's like inside their head...
They fight, and they argue.
They start missions and charities.
They build churches.
They make denominations, cults and factions.

"For I have not come to bring peace, but a sword."
-Jesus Christ

I feel distinctly like I am losing a precious and integral part of myself.

The expression "I don't feel like myself" holds no real meaning, as your identity is never fixed- you are never the same in two points in time. What it really means is that you aren't living up to your preconceptions of yourself.

And to me, it feels bad.